Nostalgia, like Hold 'Em, is Overrated

I was accused yesterday of being too nostalgic. It took me almost no time to realise the truth behind this, but still I spent the majority of the day thinking about it. I'm nostalgic about almost everything; ex-girlfriends (though I'm very much in love), music, football. I'm convinced that ecstacy was my drug of choice because of the way it makes you whistful about the near past - do you remember how high we were an hour ago, what about those pills you got last year! I wonder if I shouldn't be a buddist. I spend the majority of my thought time remembering as opposed to dreaming.

I'm not nostalgic about poker. I suppose when you spend so much time failing, there's not much you'd want to remember, let alone reminisce about. Poker's odd in that it's the only game where you expect to fail fair proportion of the time, and tournement poker's worse. How often is it reasonable for an amateur to expect to win? Once in blue moon might be cliche, but the last time I won a big score I remember the night having a certain cyan tinge to it.

I suppose I find it odd that the persuit I plow the majority of my time into is one of the few things I expect to consistently fail it; it's a step away from my usual attitude towards endevor. Or maybe I'll start thinking about the days when I could value bet with top pair three kicker, or call an all in with ace high without thinking. Maybe we enjoy nostlgia because we've become too cynical, we're all just looking back at the halcyon days of being a true donkey but still enjoying playing.